just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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