oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
