i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
