Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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