I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
