I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
