i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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