Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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