Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Text me some of your sweat
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
