That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
