Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
