yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
