Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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