yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
