Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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