ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
