I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
