I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
