i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
