i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
