yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
