Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
