You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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