My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
