I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The adults are the big ones right?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
