I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
