oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
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