I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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