Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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