i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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