dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize