dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i dont even know how to be here
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize