They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It's rum buckets o'clock
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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