Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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