I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
