ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
