We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
