redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
