they said they heard you say put it in my butt
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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