best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
