I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
