why didn't you poke me back
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
