you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
