end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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