so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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