I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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