I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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