you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
its liver damage thursday
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
