I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
