Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
