I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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