I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
