make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
farters have to be the big spoon...
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
