We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize