I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
