there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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