Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
