I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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