U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
