I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
