So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
