im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
