Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
