Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
