I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize