it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
