so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
